My Scam Story by Debbie Fox, Author, Speaker, and Cybercrime Survivor Advocate
This Wasn’t a Romance. It Was a Crime Disguised as Connection.
“He didn’t steal my heart. He stole my trust—and my future.”
We met online in fall 2023—on a dating app with paid accounts and verified identities. I made the first move. Confident and content in my solo life, I had just come off a dreamy 18 months of international travel. I wasn’t lonely. I wasn’t looking to be rescued. I was open to sharing life’s beauty with someone who valued culture, intellect, laughter, beach walks, wine, and the slow dance of curiosity.
Russell said he was a scientist, completing a solar project in Saudi Arabia—his final before retiring to southern France, where his adult daughter lived. A dual U.S.–Dutch citizen based in Beverly Hills. Grounded. Direct. Emotionally intelligent. His curiosity, consistency, and attentiveness were a breath of fresh air after a decade of mostly disappointing conversations since losing my husband to cancer.
I wasn’t in grief anymore. I had rebuilt a full life—creatively engaged, surrounded by community, and thriving in my own business. So I moved forward with cautious optimism.
Our conversations were rich and thoughtful. No love bombing. No pressure to isolate. If anything, he encouraged me to stay closely connected to my family and friends. We spoke daily—video calls, sometimes an hour long, with no distortion. In October 2023, deepfakes weren’t what they are now. I may have been looking at the real man. I may never know.
Then came the shift: a crisis. He said trusted employees had sabotaged his project, an explosion inside the plant, convincing because of real-world regional unrest after the Israel attacks (Oct. 2023). His business accounts were frozen. He asked for my help—not for money, but to facilitate a transfer from HIS business account. I agreed. The documents matched: his name, his company, the website, the registration I had previously vetted for a sliver of validation he was who he said he was. The first transfer went to Taiwan; $1.2 million. The second $40k to a Florida-based business.
Only later did he ask me to send my money. By then, the trail of prior transactions and “proof” convinced me he was a man of affluence and credibility. He presented legal documents to support his request—bank statements, a signed lender agreement, a U.S. passport, a letter of guarantee. All verifiable. In the end, all fake.
When I hesitated (that gut feeling plus the large sum of money for me), he asked the question that pierced my emotional armor: “You have the means to help—but you’re choosing not to?”
That was it. The moment he cracked straight through my emotional armor.
I wired money twice—$58,000 total. Stolen from my retirement. Scammed then taxed as if it were legitimate.
The emotional wreckage ran deeper than the financial loss. But I refused to let silence be the final thief.
I went public. TV interviews. Podcasts. Featured articles. Public speaking.
I wrote Encrypted Hearts: Love and Cyber Suspense and FLOW Journal: A Companion for Healing and Renewal. I created FLOW Circle, a peer-guided video series for mindfulness healing. All are available worldwide through major online booksellers.
This isn’t about gullibility. It’s about grooming. It’s about sophisticated cybercriminals using credibility as their greatest weapon.
I may never get justice. And yet, I’ve reclaimed my power.
Forward is the only direction."
Debbie Fox is an author and her publications are available worldwide through major online booksellers. Learn more at:
https://www.flowwithdebbiefox.com/.../debbie-fox-author-page